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Deprecated: filter_input(): Passing null to parameter #4 ($options) of type array|int is deprecated in /home/anaferreira/public_html/wp-content/plugins/google-site-kit/includes/Core/Util/Input.php on line 64 4. As crianças precisam amar e ser amadas – Blog da Ana
Todos nós necessitamos de afeição e expressões de amor. E o amor nunca deve ser tido como certo; ele deve ser continuamente declarado, vivenciado, experimentado. Como pais, a maneira com que estendemos amor aos nossos filhos, afeta profundamente a sua capacidade de relacionar-se eficazmente com os outros.
Algumas ideias:
O amor é uma reação aprendida. Aprendemos a amar. A criança nasce sem saber como amar, mas com grande capacidade para amar.
O amor entre os pais afeta a capacidade de amar da criança. O amor é visível. Significa perseverança em realizar pequenos atos de amor. A criança precisa de amor e quer saber a respeito do amor mais do que qualquer coisa. Se o verdadeiro amor não é demonstrado em casa, a criança extrai ideias falsas sobre ele dos filmes, das novelas e revistas numa cultura como a nossa onde impera o sexo. A criança precisa ver o amor genuíno modelado pelos pais. Lembre-se disto: se não lhes ensinarmos o que é o amor, eles vão descobrir de outra maneira.
O amor deve ser verbal e não verbal. Comunicado por palavras, mas demonstrado através de abraços, carinhos, sorrisos.
Amor pede ação. Falar palavras de amor, mas não agir com amor, também é inútil. Lembre-se que para uma criança, demonstração de amor é também tempo. Tempo para escutá-lo, para fazer companhia.
O amor envolve confiança. É necessário os pais demonstrarem confiança nos filhos. Se sempre lhes disserem “não posso confiar em ti”, é certo que ele sempre agirá escondendo coisas ou não sendo sincero com os pais. Mas a educação deve ser positiva: criar condições para que se possa confiar. Mostrar que confio. Se quebram essa confiança, não deixar passar, e mostrar-lhes as consequências de quando mentimos ou não somos transparentes.
O amor exige disposição para ouvir. A maioria dos pais está cansada para escutar os seus filhos. Mas ouvir cuidadosamente as pequenas mágoas e queixas, bem como as alegrias de uma criança, comunica verdadeiro amor. Olhe diretamente nos seus olhos enquanto o escuta.
Amar significa compartilhar experiências. Brincar, fazer atividades juntos, rir, partilhar as refeições juntos, a hora de dormir, a hora de trabalhar, de brincar e todas as outras ocasiões de participação familiar devem ser aproveitadas ao máximo, porque todas elas fornecem oportunidades para amar e ser amado.
O amor constrói relacionamentos francos e confortáveis. A razão mais importante para a criança desejar ser boa é o amor dos pais por ela. Nunca deve fazer chantagem com os seus filhos do género “gosto de ti se…” ou “gosto de ti mas…”. Não há “mas” nem “se”. Amo porque amo. As coisas menos boas que eles podem fazer não devem ser motivo para deixarmos de amar. Simplesmente mostrar que disciplinamos exatamente porque amamos.
O amor reconhece que as pessoas são mais importantes do que as coisas. Lembre-se que nenhum presente pode substituir o carinho, a atenção e a presença do pai.
O que é então amar?
Amar é ter tempo um para o outro. É conversar ao redor da mesa. É uma família correr e caminhar na mata ou no parque. Amar é dar as mãos em algum projeto. É fazer uma brincadeira de que todos participem e gostem. Amar é rir de nós mesmos. Amar é pedir perdão. Amar é ouvir. É qualquer palavra ou ato que gere o sentimento de que amo e sou amado.
Não deixe de praticar continuamente isto com o seu filho!
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